Decisions...

Many were shocked to know I am going to embark in a new career, and at the same time, I will be managing my 3 imps without help.

I smell challenge coming my way, albeit Hubs and I decided this is an ideal arrangement at least for now), as it is just as important to us to have more parental involvement in our children's growing years.

Letting go of my Mom's help after so many years may sound like an impulse decision we had made. Trust me, many things went through, a lot of emotional exchanges and exasperation that I (or probably we, Mom may feel the same too!) went through is quite a toil.

"Can you manage alone?"

This question was posted to me many times. In her words to a few relatives and dear Papa, I am selfish. Let it be. I know jolly well how unhappy I was for many months that made up as a few years. I have Hubs' understanding in this matter. This is most important isn't it?

Decision was shaken once, I was furious upon knowing what was told to others. I silently bear with it, swallowing my tears. I can't tell anyone. Not even the dearest that sleeps next to me.

Since the chance arises for a change, there is little reason I should let the opportunity slip by.

I appreciate what was done when her aid was around, I really do. Sane or strain, I have to make a choice. I decided to stay sane by straining a lil.

Why are we turning things this way? I guess the lack of parental involvement in my early years carve an impact. This impact, affects me so much so that it cannot be mended no matter how hard I tried.