Three is fun!

I'm so loving the fact that we have 3 kids now.

One. Two. Three.

How beautiful.

I know more headache will come along, just allow me to bask in bliss as all three are so loving each other in harmony.

Attention is channelled to the littlest one, leaving very little attention for the middle child and even lesser for the eldest.

It has been a daily self reminder for me and hubs that we ought to spread our love equally (this is almost impossible) do that none of them will feel left out.

Saying is easy. Thinking is equally easy. Doing it is a challenge.

E has been behaving weirdly sometimes. Leaving me very frustrated and unbelievable as she used to be such a loving girl that every non would love having.

A lot of one to one sessions needed with her even until today.

Surprisingly, B is very easy. He has been behaving better eversince Mikaela joined us.

Nonetheless? We still need to give him a fair amount of tender loving care.

No, not ranting here. Just sharing some thoughts about being a mother of three. I know everyone is adjusting to the new member in the household.

Talking about this, I do enjoy bringing my babies out! Not alone for the time being at least!
I'll lose my sanity if I do! Haha!

Decisions. Decisions. Decisions.

Cost of living is not low in Singapore.

Do a reality check, one pay cheque, 3 children, an executive flat, a car, and enrichment classes don't come affordable.

I will have to go back to work soon.

My mom is still helping me with the caregiving of the lil ones. The lil ones will be in good hands.

Hubs wanted me to rest for a lil longer before I head back to work. However, knowing that there are some issues with me staying home minding the kids with mom around, there will be more issues.

Final decision, I will be back to work. I guess it is an arrangement best for everyone.

Beautiful, she is...

Months ago, I almost made a decision that will make me regret for my entire lifetime.

Today, embracing my beautiful youngest born, seeing how beautiful a creation she is, I told hubs "I'm glad I didn't make a wrong decision."

She is vulnerable and tiny for now. Soon, she will be filling up those lovely clothes I bought her.

We love her...so naturally!

Love naturally...

Jiejie is protective, korkor is possessive.

That is how the two older ones behave towards their baby sister.

They love her. I am not complaining yet...

Here is what Ethylyn took this morning! :D

Our Beautiful Blessings

Slowly...reality sets in

Off goes the soft feeding tube.
Off goes the drip.
Off with the course of antibiotics.
Off goes NICU.

Slowly but surely, she will be like any other full term baby, coming home to us.

As the day goes, I love her much more. I miss her so much. My spirit and flesh is weak, I yearn for her in my arms.

Cuddling is such a simple action but it is such a precious moment for us.

Tears, I fought back. I promised not to worry the man and children. As a mother, I can only sit here thinking and missing my NB as I typed this entry.

"It won't be too long before Mikaela will be in our arms" Hubs consoled.

Indeed, but it's a love and pinning from a mommy's perspective. How much does the daddy knows?

Number Chase Starts Again!

Years ago when I had both Ethylyn and Brayden, I know I will want to breast-feed.

It's so natural in me as I know this is part of motherhood and a natural responsibility that mother nature endows us mommy with, why should I not do it?

This time, nursing a preemie had a whole new meaning.

I knew someone from Facebook who has an experience with preemie and selflessly shared her experience with me on her 32 week-old preemie. She motivates me and gave me lots of confidence. I tell myself I got to be positive and brave to face this situation. Only myself can set an example to my children and show them what a mommy can do for their lil ones in different situations faced.

The recovery of c-section is slow. I told myself, "mind over body" I must have the determination to nurse Mikaela, as colostrum is something so precious.

I started expressing only on day 2. It was like a mere syringe of 1.5ml. How pathetic on my first try. I was not disheartened. I pumped again...

It was slightly better in my second try. More than 1.5ml but lesser than 2ml.

Yet again, I am not giving up! The wound is still hurting, I decided to rest well so I can get on with my breastfeeding the next day.

"I will do it 3 hourly!" I encouraged myself. It means lesser sleep as rest, but here I am, doing my mommy's duty every 3 hourly.

Nope! It is not tough. This requires some getting used to. No big deal.

Pump! Pump! Pump!

Now that after a day's effort, I see an increase close to 30ml in a day's effort really boosted my morale!

When the nurse came and said Mikaela finished the EBM which was more than what the peads suggested, I was thrilled! All the effort is worth while!

My only wish is that she will be well and come back home to us soon.

Decision Made Right!

On Saturday, 4 February 2012 I made a decision to bring forward my visit to my ever so caring OBGYN.

Her call to me on Friday to check on the discomfort of the scar tenderness and reassurance gave me a lot of comfort.

The constant discomfort, sleepless nights and a nagging thought, I decided I shall just pop by to the clinic.

Chatted with Dr Choo about my predicament, followed by a sonogram that revealed that the dehiscing of my scar is pretty obvious. We discussed and weighed the risks factors involved and decided to take the steroid jabs to enhance the lung development of missy as she will be likely born a preemie.

We did the CTG that did not pick up any fetal distress or some sort. That was a relieve.

Sharing the news with our family is the next thing to do. We had lots of encouragement and understanding from most. Old folks were not understanding of the situation and passed caustic remarks, I'm really disheartened.

However it is, Hubs is still very encouraging. The steroid jabs does hurt, but it's something superficial comparing to the well-being of lil missy.

"the consequence can be catastrophic"

What Dr Choo said kept replaying in my ears. My maternal instinct tells me "wait no more".

I brought forward my visit again. I went to see Dr Choo on Monday. We did the necessary scan, CTG and had a discussion again. I told her my decision and we decided "let's not wait for things to happen!"

The next few hours happened in a flash. The next thing I knew, I checked into TMC and was ready for C-section.

What happened no longer matter. She is safe and healthy. We made a right decision.

When both Peads and Dr Choo visited, they said we made the right decision. She could see Missy's hair against the thin lining when she cut open my abdomen.

She is a preemie. Albeit a healthy lil one. Doing fine and well...

So When?

It's like a very common question everyone who sees my elephantine physique will ask.

As much as I'd love to share a date with all, I can't as this is dependent on lil Missy.

The last check up with our OBGYN reveals my scar is dihiscing, hence the discomfort and pain that bothers me so much.

Currently at 34 weeks of gestatation, I am challenged with plenty of aches, pains and soreness. The one that disturbs me most is the tenderness felt at the old scar. From the sonogram yesterday, it seems like the lining is now very thin. We are trying to hold Missy in as long as we can (at most probably 2 weeks) or when she reaches at least 2300g to 2500g (i.e. if I can hold her in this long).

The whole household is full of anticipation for lil Missy's arrival. Their excitement somehow affects me quite a fair bit.

back to the favourite question, "When will it be?"