Number Chase Starts Again!

Years ago when I had both Ethylyn and Brayden, I know I will want to breast-feed.

It's so natural in me as I know this is part of motherhood and a natural responsibility that mother nature endows us mommy with, why should I not do it?

This time, nursing a preemie had a whole new meaning.

I knew someone from Facebook who has an experience with preemie and selflessly shared her experience with me on her 32 week-old preemie. She motivates me and gave me lots of confidence. I tell myself I got to be positive and brave to face this situation. Only myself can set an example to my children and show them what a mommy can do for their lil ones in different situations faced.

The recovery of c-section is slow. I told myself, "mind over body" I must have the determination to nurse Mikaela, as colostrum is something so precious.

I started expressing only on day 2. It was like a mere syringe of 1.5ml. How pathetic on my first try. I was not disheartened. I pumped again...

It was slightly better in my second try. More than 1.5ml but lesser than 2ml.

Yet again, I am not giving up! The wound is still hurting, I decided to rest well so I can get on with my breastfeeding the next day.

"I will do it 3 hourly!" I encouraged myself. It means lesser sleep as rest, but here I am, doing my mommy's duty every 3 hourly.

Nope! It is not tough. This requires some getting used to. No big deal.

Pump! Pump! Pump!

Now that after a day's effort, I see an increase close to 30ml in a day's effort really boosted my morale!

When the nurse came and said Mikaela finished the EBM which was more than what the peads suggested, I was thrilled! All the effort is worth while!

My only wish is that she will be well and come back home to us soon.

Decision That is Not Easy to Make

Though a little reluctant and guilty to make such a decision, I have decided to gradually stop feeding my little monster breast milk.


Boss was asking if I am ready socially to take on new tasks to expand my portfolio and goes international. Of course I am more than glad, but that also means travelling and increase in workload.


The reason why I do not reject is because I hope to do something for myself. I know I am no super mommy who can juggle that well; but since I can have Mom's support for now, why not? But I lay my cards; no extensive travelling for me.

He agreed and passed me 2 very nice place for business trips.

Anyways, this is not about my trip, but the decision for me to stop breastfeeding.

I am reluctant to stop now, but my shoulders are aching from lugging the almost 4kg bag to and fro. Also, due to the busy schedule, it is inconvenient for me as well.

However, tried feeding Brayden FM, he had allergic reactions. He had hives after drinking Enfa. He doesn't want to drink Friso, and also refused Similac (at least he drinks a bit w/o allergic reactions) today. So how to stop feeding?

I will still try my best for him. In the meantime, will gradually let him get used to FM. Tough decision, but still...my supply has really dwindled so much because of work stress and lack of sleep. When can he sleep through the nights?

It's a Choice

It is very much a choice when it comes to breastfeeding. I dread lugging the almost 4kg bag to work daily which consists of the pump, and cooler bag. It is so unglam to lug that huge bag along and walking down Orchard road.

It is a choice I made. Recently, I have been contemplating if I should just forget about breastfeeding as my stress level is rocketing and I need my sleep badly. The struggle within myself is not that great, because deep down inside, the benefits of Brayden downing the precious Mommy's milk is more important to me.

The fact of him not liking formula, on top of which, Mom's reluctance to let him have formula are the 2 push factors that keeps me going.

I have been wanting to go for my gym workouts. Since I am located at the heart of the shopping belt of Orchard, I have many choices of fitness clubs within reach, and I really want to look fit and fab.

I guess there are times for fun and play. Brayden is only a baby once, and giving him food the Nature's way is not such a bad thing afterall. I'd just have to bear with the weight of my "milking" bag and get Hubby to massage my aching shoulders every night.

Since he is turning 6mo this month, my first target is met, I will set the next target at his 9th month.

Keep Up The Pump!

Been complaining about the drop in my milk supply eversince I stared work. I used to fetch at least 1.5 litres a day easy, but now, it is good if I can have 1 litre.

Boss is good, he gave me a room to pump...but the stress of pumping in office is just not getting away. Some colleagues will want to lunch together and do not mind waiting for me. This gives me stress...they are waiting and I am working hard, trying to fetch at least 300ml to meet my little milk monster's supply...somehow it turned out the best is 220ml.

There was once I even tried using my manual pump in the nursing rooms at the shopping level, after 30 mins, I can only fetch 140ml. I nearly cried at the pitiful supply.

Decided to lug my electric pump back to work and its better to have 220ml better than 140ml.

Now that little milk monster is turning 4mo, and soon, we will be able to feed him semi-solids, at least I know the supply can still last him till then...Becacuse of the dwindled supply, Ethyl is unable to drink EBM, no choice...She'll have it when Bray starts taking cereals.