Late...

Man came back almost 12 midnight last night. Last minute rush, he and his 2 peers got to make sure all work is done to ensure the aircraft is safe to take off.

However tired and sleepy I was, I stayed up as I would love to chat with him, even if it's for a minute. This is the least I can do as a wife, to be there for him and listening, updating and simply; be around.

Some friends asked why is he always so busy? They do not understand as their better half holds an office desk job that gives them weekend as family day. I used to mind and envy them. I guess I may still do at times, but I have also accepted that this is his job - staggered shift.

More than once, I ever asked myself "Can I be the kind of wife he needed?" No answer required, as this is a role I have to play - a wife, a mom and a pillar to the household.

Through the years, I have accepted my fate that I will be left very much independent to handle most things myself. I am not complaining. I am thankful. Despite being so busy, he is always there to render me his support and a shoulder for me to cry on.

This pasture that I have chosen 9 years ago is not the greenest, however is the most reliable piece I can ever asked for.

My temperament has also mellowed because of my current plight. Having children who is gradually understanding the Dad's job nature also helped as we will encourage each other when his presence is missed.

He always thank me for being there taking care of our lil ones and making sure they do not miss the fun of not having a Dad around. Little does he know, he is a super star to his kids, and an unsung hero of mine.

Love lots Dear!

Companion

I feel that I have grown up over the years. I am managing expectations better, more tolerant and trying to be more understanding in different circumstances.

Hubs has been working almost 7 days a week for many months due to some projects. Besides the normal working hours, additional OT hours were taken off from our supposed family time. I am trying to be understanding, to manage the household, the kids so that he can work with a peace of mind.

Never has I failed him once. He always trusted me to take good care of the kids and household.

When I am feeling down, I really hope there is a shoulder, a strong pair of arms to wrap me up and give me some comfort.

This is not a complaint. I just hope that he understands I will also need some attention from him. The kids, this family needs his presence so much too. It is not a healthy family if he is simply busy with work.

At times I do wonder...am I an attention seeking desperate housewife? Haha...

When M = Marriage

What does a stalk of flower mean to the wife at home? Many husbands out there do not understand, so does mine.

Marriage life has dulled and lost its luster and passion after being in it for on 8th year. So sad right? It’s not even 10 years and the love seems to have cooled off significantly. So, what does it mean to stay together in a marriage?

No worries, I am not going to talk about divorce. We are pretty much sorted on the unhappiness (mainly mine), moving on to putting in effort to build a stronger relationship as husband and wife. I believe in “happily ever after”, though I know there ain’t too many fairy tales in reality!

Someone noted that I seldom mention about my man on my blog for a while. The little mention about my unhappiness actually raises the concern on a fellow blogging friend whom I have never met showing concern over. I really appreciate the listening ear and concern from various people over that period of time.

Ethylyn has been very sensitive about the change in our behaviors during that period of time. In order not to affect her (which we unknowingly did), we “acted” and behaved as if nothing happened. Nowadays, when we don’t feel like talking, she would ask, “Mommy, Daddy made you angry again?” I really appreciate the way she shows her concern over little things that we adults overlooked sometimes.

If Hubby really makes me upset, She would always side me and chides Hubby for making me upset. She is such a sweetie. Having said that, it also dawned on me that we ought to look at how we adults manage our emotions in front of the kids. Many a times, we take it for granted that the kids will not understand. In actual fact, they do and their little mind is working big on everyday happenings.

I do hope my man reads this. Surprises does not cost much, a stalk of flower, a pack of my favourite dessert, my favourite food or even a small box of my favourite chocolate, I will feel good and loved.

Just like the simple bento I made her him in the mornings.

The Overdue

Hen we got engaged, or rather ROM, Hubby got me a ring. A simple one that costs just slightly over a thousand bucks. That was in year 2001.

Newly graduated and didn't have much to indulge in, I settle for this ring and he promised an "upgrade" for me when he is more established in terms of career.

Two weekends ago, we went shopping with the kids. I pass buy one shop and saw the bling. A ring that fits my finger well and looks bling enough. I liked it. The sales person pushed a bigger one to me, but it didn't look good on my finger. So I still prefer the smaller one.

However...the man seemed to have forgotten the promise and is not moved by my hint. Sigh...When will my long overdued be fulfilled?

When 2 Becomes 4

With Ethyl sleeping earlier than usual yesterday, Hubby and I made use of the chance to have our pillow talk. I told him there were times I really hoped to spend couple time together, and am thinking if we should have a yearly getaway to the nearby resorts just for ourselves.

As usual, the man knows me better. He knew I would miss the kids and a 2 nights' trip might become a one night or even a half day trip! *guilty* True enough, though I was the one who suggested, I always couldn't bear to leave anyone behind and fully enjoy myself without feeling the guilt.

I know we need couple time alone too...I fully understand the need to spend time together alone without the existence of the little ones. Hubby will actually miss our offsprings as well, not just me.

How to leave the little pair behind? We are still discussing. From a 2 nights' trip, I told him, why not we spend just one night?? He said, it'll become a half day trip then.

Ever told Mom about this, she is very encouraging and said if we really want to go, we should just leave the kids behind and enjoy ourselves. Hubby needs to unwind due to his busy schedule, so do I juggling the roles of a Mommy and wife.

How to make the guilt go away? I can see that Hubby is happy with my suggestions, but having been together for almost 10 years, he knows my soft spot for the kids. Am actually planning to go for a short trip after my confinement if possible....so how? With or without kids?