Random

I know schooling does not mean going to various enrichments and tutions besides regular school hours.

Acquiring knowledge should bee fun. Its a self reminder that I should not pack the children's childhood with various academic classes.

Enjoying their childhood is the objective that I am spending more time with them guiding and coaching them.

Dreams...

Like I mentioned in the earlier post, we had a change of plan, hopefully for the better for both the family and the children.

I did some explaining to E, sharing with her about the change, and what can be expected.

Least expected from her was when she replied, "Don't give up your dreams. You are still young. Do things you think it's best for yourself. Don't always give up your dreams for us, Mom."

Tears welled up when I heard these from my firstborn. Ain't she growing up so fast?

Indeed I may be giving up some of my dreams, what I had aspired to do and aspired to be when I was younger. No, I do not have regrets. For children will only be this young once, soon, they will no longer need me!

On our way to Bugis, I explained to her the need to make such a change. On our way back, I explained to her it was not entirely a sacrifice.

Life isn't smooth sailing as we would love it'd be.

This change may be for the better. The well being of the children is much more of a priority compared to anything else at this phase of parenthood.

Here's us. We took the MRT out instead of driving today!

Middle Child Syndrome?

Before M was born, many friends around us would highlight to us to watch out for B's change in behavior and emotional needs. Simpy put, they meant Middle Child Syndrome.

As usual, the worrywart me went scouring through the web trying to figure out the signs and syndromes; coupled with a few suggestions those online experts may suggest to help the middle child overcome this phase. In my mind, I always wonder - will this MCS eventually fade away with age?

Nearing the middle stage of my second trimester, B suddenly refused to go to school. He would be clinging, and tugging me whenever I sent him to school Why so? I always ponder. He used to love school so much!

Such behavior didn't last long. I credit that to my consistent show of love and assurance to B, with the aid of the school teachers who are so encouraging and explained to the class on what to expect when you have a new sibling.

The centre supervisor as well as the teacher updated me consistently on B's reactions on the new sibling topic. I count my blessings on this.

M came soon after. I had already prepared EB (well, E was able to understand better than she did 4 years ago this time), what to expect and that I will be away for that few days after M's arrival.

Everything went on smoothly for us. I am thankful for the sensible children I am blessed with.

Even though it was a smooth journey for the past 4 months (and counting), I will constantly remind myself and hubs that we need to show a lil more for our only son. At the same time, we shan't neglect the girls in any way.

Tough job huh? This is part of the challenge in parenting!

Get The Right Attitude

For friends who are closer to me, they know E has been diligent, consistent and also a very motivated child. She never fails to be my pride and joy. This leads to complacency in both of us and gradually, I took her sensibility for granted.

Beginning of this year, I see a change in her behavior and sipping in a very negative learning attitude towards her academic work. I got very upset with this fact, and my constant dressing down, drifted us apart.

Things did not improve after M's arrival. With the new bundle, I was too pre-occupied to monitor and guide her through her studies effectively. Instead, the devil overrules and I begun threatening her how I can be nasty if she did not improve her attitude in learning and prove to me that she is putting in effort in her school work; of which I told her is her RESPONSIBILITY.

Of course, there is NO improvement at all after all the threatening. I withdrew all her privileges that I generously showered her with too. This is the worst a Mom can do. I tell you, I walked a wrong path.

Just two days ago, I randomly picked up a book from her bag wanting to see how she has been faring in school. I ended up pulling out of the bed at 10.30pm, ignoring the fact that she has to wake up at 6am the next day. Took out the cane and started lashing at her.

Monster is officially making it's guest appearance again.

I flung her book, hauled at her for failing to let me sign tests that are not very well done etc. She sat there wailing and hiding from the spanks. Both heartbroken, I told her I will visit the school and speak to her teachers the next day.

She kneel and begged me not to do it. She will change for the better. Nothing goes into me. I told her, I want to hear nothing more, I will go to school the next day.

Weeping and wiping away her tears as she went up to the room. Alone in the kitchen, I too, was weeping silently as the heartache is too much to bear.

That night, she cried to sleep. On the other hand, I tossed and turned the whole night.

Hubs sent her to school as usual. I hated the dead peace that morning. Her usual morning greetings, usual hugs and kissing goodbye to her siblings and me were not there. No words exchanged, no glances exchanged. She simply went to school with that cried-swollen eyes.

Picking up my phone, I SMS-ed her form teacher making an appointment with him to talk about E.

"I am very shocked that you need to talk to me about this girl! She is a very respectful, meticulous, diligent, consistent...." and he went on with all the positive description of my Ethyl I knew from birth to 7yo.

Since her problem is not in school, it is home where all these happens, I need to reflect.

Hubby and I had a chat about this. He has always played a more passive role in parenting, however I really needed his presence to render me the moral support as a spouse and a father to our children this time. I need the courage to move on.

This is a very harsh reality to me. My daughter, I was once so proud of her has turned into a monster too.

We brought her out on a coffee session last evening. I had to prompt her to talk. I need to know why she feels unhappy and why she has become defiant, abusive (physical and verbal) with her brother, rude and started lying to get attention.

"I don't know" covered most of her answers in the beginning.

And so I asked "Tell me, do you feel that we always scold you these days?" "yes" She replied.

"Have you wondered why? Did you ask yourself if you did something that is not too right that made us scold you?"

"No"

"Why not? There has to be a reason right?"

Silence.

I know such conversations won't hold too long. I told her how I felt as a mom.

I have always been proud of her being sensible, understanding, appreciative and loving. You name it! I told her from 2012, I no longer know how to feel proud of her. From her latching on for breast milk, to her taking cereals, porridge, solids, diaper-less etc, all these are proud mommy moments. They may be insignificant to many, those are moments I know my daughter is thriving under my care.

Her achievements last year, winning gold medals, attaining the highest English achiever award for her level etc. These are also proud mommy moments. How about this year?

Leaving achievements aside. She said we do not love her as much. I asked her, how does she feel when she did not get enough sleep? She replied she will be cranky and grouchy.

Bento making for her to some friends seems like my hobby. No. I do not really classify that as a hobby. I take that as a Mommy's duty.

I asked her, how many friends who bring lunch boxes gets theirs decorated. NONE!

Already sleep deprived, with a pregnancy that was not too easy, and having to take on graveyard shift for feeding, I still made a point to make her bento for her field trips. Even though it is no longer a daily affair, I still try to make her happy with an occasional bento to make her day brighter.

These are all efforts and love for her. I was terribly heartbroken to hear her telling me she didn't feel the love.

We can't weigh love on a balance. I told her I tried to do as much as I can for all my children. No one has a smaller share. All I want are happy kids. Academic results do matter, but their attitude matters much more. If a piece of work that came back full marks and all I get is a proud arrogant child showing off, I'd be worried. On the other hand, if the child came back telling me he/she has put their best foot forward and will try to do better the next time, and learn from mistakes, I will be so proud of him/her.

After the session, we concluded that we will spend more time with her, she will also do what she ought to do.

18 April 2012, a brand new start for all of us. Three things she needs to do:

1. Change her attitude towards learning and life

2. Be polite towards young and old

3. Take responsibility

I do see her trying to change. So will we. Parenting is really a very challenged journey...no matter how hard, we will have to work things back on track when derailed.

Slowly...reality sets in

Off goes the soft feeding tube.
Off goes the drip.
Off with the course of antibiotics.
Off goes NICU.

Slowly but surely, she will be like any other full term baby, coming home to us.

As the day goes, I love her much more. I miss her so much. My spirit and flesh is weak, I yearn for her in my arms.

Cuddling is such a simple action but it is such a precious moment for us.

Tears, I fought back. I promised not to worry the man and children. As a mother, I can only sit here thinking and missing my NB as I typed this entry.

"It won't be too long before Mikaela will be in our arms" Hubs consoled.

Indeed, but it's a love and pinning from a mommy's perspective. How much does the daddy knows?

What do I like about being a Mom?

Ethyl asked me this question this morning while I was combing her hair after bath. I was startled by this question of hers. Hence I asked why did she ask me this?

E: mom, do you enjoy being a mom?
Me: yes of course! Why ask?
E: Mom, you see...when the children are sick, the mothers are worried. Like me, now my hands are peeling so badly and even simple things I will need help. Don't you find it tiring?
Me: Well, that's about being a mom. Full dose of happiness, one dose of heartache, 2 doses of headaches, 3 doses or frustrations and endless doses of worries. A mom is around to support, to love and to guide. Be a friend, a shoulder and a ear. I get satisfaction when you do well as a person.

End of the conversation, she gave me a hug. She knew too well being a mom isn't a bed of roses. However, the consolation from this conversation is, she understands that my role as a Mom is not a breeze to begin with.

All I have hope for the kids are for them to stay healthy, happy and positive.

Love you both + our budding buddie :-)

Humph! Not Fair!

A pet phrase of Ethyl these days.

This three words, especially the latter two makes me pull my hair and cringe my face. Why so? Just because I grew up with my two other sisters and we always shouted "not fair", and was denied by Mom and Papa.

Taking my not so good experience of "not"fair", I have reminded myself umpteen times, I have to thread on this thin line with extra care.

Many times, I reminded myself I need to explain to Ethyl and Brayden why I did something to one but not another. Even so, there are times when the hormones go haywire and I simply lose my patience especially when Ethyl kept asking and protesting why she has to give in.

Brayden is a little too young to shout these two words, more of Ethyl's feelings I need to take care of. She is a very sensitive child, thus such emotional issues are pretty tacky.

I used to make up for the "unfairness" by getting her something she likes or give in to a reasonable request from her whenever she has to give in. I didn't tell her, I just do it. Until lately she kept saying I was unfair to her, I told her a few scenarios whereby I "treated" her with something else that Brayden doesn't get.

This took a while for me to explain, but of cause, besides giving in to her request or a "treat" is something I have to manage. I explained to her, if her behaviour is undesirable, her "treat" shall be forfeited.

Such "treats" are important notes to me. Only when no tantrums were thrown and complains from her, such treats will take place. Meaning, her reaction to the "unfair" treatment is the deciding factor to decide if she deserves a treat from me.

Being a kid, she tried her best. Not smooth and no tussle all the time though. We tried and struggle sometimes. Tears were shed...and I do see improvements coming along the way as I repeatedly explained to her the reason behind it.

This is one of my KPI for this year. Who says SAHM (cum WAHM) is a simple job?!

Phonics Helps!

Brought Ethyl to LCentral at Bedok for an assessment yesterday and she can gain direct entry to their "Success PFS" program.

I sat through the assessment with Ethyl, am very impressed that the little girl could read so well. Just because she has been doing her role dutifully, I always leave it to her to read by herself these days.

I saw her read the various passages and witnessed how she blend the difficult words together using phonics, a skill she acquired from school and with little teaching from me.

The phonetic sounds was perfect. She never really underwent enrichment in this area and I am proud she does well.

If you ask me what is important for a pre-school child, I would suggest we focus on foundations like phonics for the kid. As they grow older, they can progress to different enrichment that suits their needs.

I'm on a Roller Coaster Ride (again!)

Two days before, I looked at Ethyl's face and watching her with much attention. I know time flies past especially the time when I am basking in motherhood bliss. None-the-less, a part of me do hope the kids to grow up fast, while the other part of me is secretly hoping time would just halt and let me enjoy them longer.

It was like yesterday that I held Ethyl in my arms, nursing her and bonding with her in our room, in our hall of our first matrimonial flat. I loved watching her suckling and satisfied after dining on me and the fulfillment I get to be able to breastfeed her.

Soon, she flipped, crawled, cut her first tooth, took her first steps etc.

The days of her being a toddler, I brought her out shopping alone, dining at different cafes, restaurants and walking along the stretch of Orchard Road while Hubby was busy at work. All these are memorable and meaningful to me. Our first born, garners all the attention and love from me.

As I reminise those days, reality brought me back. I still love her, but the way I show it is slightly different. I am a little more demanding nowadays as I hope to incalcate the right values and mannerism in her everyday life.

Today, as I register her for P1, my heart undergone another tedious round of tension test. As we registered Ethyl, it was so natural that my eyes felt warm. I lost appetite after that.

As I approached the registration room, my heart thuds faster, probably my BP shot up to a new height then. I am anxious, no doubts as there are only 60 seats left for us. But the main reason behind it is because I suddenly couldn't accept the fact that my Ethyl is going to P1 next year.

As much as I wish time would wait, which is impossible; all I had to is simply enjoy her every moment I have. Having her chatting with me, requesting for my hugs and kisses, showing a little jealousy sometimes and smelling her hair whenever she lies next to me!

Yes, I am an emotional Mommy...I know that very well! I just hope the registration doesn't give us a tough time.

Mom, is this a sacrifice?

Ethyl asked when her classmates and herself are discussing about their stay-at-home-moms. There are only 3 girls in her class, coincidentally, all Moms are SAHM.

Probably during discussions someone mentioned about scarifice, hence she popped this question to me.

Why am I doing my best I can for my kids? Simply because I put myself in their shoes; I don't get enough of such attention from my Mom.

Sad ya?

2 weeks ago, I actually laid on the bed thinking to myself, what are the important transisitons that Mom accompanied me? Hmm...it took me more than 20 minutes to remember ONE - my first days in P1. As I was typing, I suddenly remembered, When I was in P3, the orientation when we changed to a new school.

So, what is sacrifice? I told her, I am just doing my best for her. Creating an environment that hopefully both herself and Brayden will thrive in my care. Simply because they are my kids, and I do not that this as a sacrifice.

No words exchanged, just a hug from her after hearing what I said.

She is growing up so fast...she will soon be in P1. I hope she will understand the efforts I put in in time to come.

Every Little Thing

It seems like being a Mom is always challenged by the kids. They are smarter than we thought, they are a lot more adventurous than I am, they are more capable and independent than what I perceived them to be.

As an adult, I have so much to learn from them. From time to time, I will be amazed by their ability to forgive and love. Their unselfish and big heart touched me.

Seeing them growing bit by bit, I can't help but feel that parenting is indeed a great joy and the duos truly taught me to be patient (though I still need lots of improvement in this aspect).

Staying at home, a new challenge; working from home a big leap for me. I am glad people around me (whom I needed most) are supportive and willing to help me.

I have learnt that for kids, there is no such thing called "sacrifice", it is how you manage your priorities and how you are willing to make a change to the lifestyle.

No more big ticket items for me so frequently. Occassionally Hubby will surprise me with one, the latest is a bag that I loved and feels the pinch to get myself. Thanks Dear!

More picture updates soon (I hope!). Till then!

Now, She Loves Math!

I was hair pulling, struggling and in a tug-of-war with my little girl on her reluctance to do math. Not that I am forcing her, but she gets worksheets from school and those are homework that she needs to accomplish.

When she started throwing tantrums and telling me she hates math, she hates abacus...I began to seek for alternatives to help her. She had attended MPM math, no doubt a very good way to learn math at individual pace, I feel there is a lack of communication going on during the lesson. Something that is missing on the socializing with her peers.

When Janice told me she has a prep class for K2-ers that helps them progress to P1 next year, I signed Ethyl up hoping this time is not another typical enrichment class that will drill her with more worksheets.

First lesson that she had, she came out telling me she wished she had another lesson. Lesson 2, she told me, she will look forward to next saturday...this goes on till now, every saturday, she will be asking for her math lesson.

Since last week, I realised I no need to call out to her to get her math worksheet done. She will, on her own accord, finish her worksheet (without mistakes) and gleefully told me that she had finished it!

For the class, I was actually paying for something really valuable. A dedicated teacher, dedicated owner whom both work on the curriculum for the kids. The class has a nice blend of science, english, sensory, general knowledge and of course, mathematics.

This time, I am really glad I took the effort and time to send Ethyl for the class. She is benefiting from the lessons.

Learn more about Ethyl's class here.

Seeking some understanding

At certain point in life, I told myself that I can never be the perfect Mommy I wished I were. This is reality. Told myself to take things easy and lead a less demanding life (for myself), however, I find it really hard.

Sleeping lesser hours took a toil on my body system, I am being too tough on my aging body system that lethargic has taken over most times and my productivity level plummeted. Not a big issue, I can survive. Taking the effort to wake up early to prepare bentos for the little ones and the old one, well...they are happy, but someone began to take this little things for granted.

Ethyl refused to eat her bread on my bento-off-days.

She is too pampered by me. Last night I was nursing a sick toddler, and I couldn;t wake up this morning as I was really tired. Hence no bento for the girl and Hubby simply spread-ed bread for her. She was not happy when I called.

This affected me because I always thought she is such a thoughtful and understanding little girl. I text-ed Hubby and told him, he says he will call her and speak to her later.

Probably it has got to do with the extra attention I have been showering little boy that she may felt my attention has shifted. Well, I shall take a step at a time and I guess it's time I spend some girls' time with Ethyl soon!

The Decision to be Firm

I made a decision to be firm with Ethyl last evening.

I worked slightly later and went back home to hear complains from the complainants telling me that how rude, how uncooperative my little girl is. Probably it is also the added stress I face at work, I decided to punish her.

Bad as it may seem, I caned her palms for not unpacking her bag after countless reminders, I chided her for calling me and not talking but just spent minutes crying over the other end of the phone. I tell myself, she didn't know what shit I get from work, I shall not vent my anger n stress on her, so things were kept to just her undisciplined routine of leaving her dirty laundry in the school bag, being rude to Mom and Hubby, last but not least talking back rudely when we are trying to talk to her in a peaceful manner.

It broke my heart to see her cry...but I have to do it. It may not be the best way, but I need her to understand, I reward duly when u deserve, and I punish likewise. I can't be accommodating all the time. I need to bring her up well, that is my mission as a mother. If I allow her to indulge in such undesired behaviours, what will she become when she is in her teens?

Nevertheless, we spoke after the punishment is over. I explained to her and listen to her side of explanation too. We kissed and made up. The only reason Mom can't understand is, why I can be a disciplinarian and a doting mother whom she respects at the same time? I also don't have an answer. Probably it is my way to teaching them. I love them tonnes when they behave, I do give small rewards from time to time, I gave in when they behave. Though little boy is still young, he gets smacking from me if he tries to do funny stints. But of course, the smacking is just slightly harder than a pat.

I told Hubby and Mom, if they need to dicipline Ethyl or even Brayden, they can by all means go ahead and explain to them after both parties calmed down, and making sure we allow them a chance to speak up as well. Hubby never liked to use cane, even if he "uses", he "uses" through his mouth.

My role is to play both the good and the bad guy. However I know at this point of time, there are too many disruptions out of home and I really need to watch on Ethyl's behaviour.

Not an easy time, but I am sure she will understand my intentions as time goes by.

Teaching Little Boy

I shall not have people telling me I am practising favouritism. I plan for Ethyl and so do I plan for Brayden. 

He is a very cheerful little guy…whenever I read to Ethyl, he would sit beside me and listen to both Ethyl and myself reading and discussing on what we have read. This is our way of bonding.

I bought a set of “I Can Read” flash cards. I am going to start Brayden on his learning journey officially. I have to admit that I am guilty for not starting earlier. I have been procrastinating ad this is bad. This week, I shall start!

He will have 10 to 15 minutes of flash cards, and we will bounce back to our singing, play pretend session before bedtime.

Having them around is so different. Life is really busy but I have to admit, I enjoyed every moment with them!

Making Money Sense

Teaching her about money is part of my agenda to prepare her for primary school, and in the long run for her own benefit.

Not that I managed my money with much sense, but I think it is good to impart her importance of money, savings and also how to make wise choices with it.

Seeing us leaving for work in the mornings, little girl came to terms that we need to work in order to bring home money for our living expenses.

I have been thinking a lot…how to teach her on the importance of savings, making wise choices when she only has a certain amount of pocket money, and how to make good use of it.

Finally I decided that I shall start giving her some money to start off with. I will only give her 50 cents for a start on a daily basis. On weekend, she would have accumulated $2.50 and I shall bring her on one of my marketing trip, I will entice her with her favourite items, trying to make her spend money. She has to understand with the amount she has, she cannot buy something that cost more than $2.50. I will also factor in the requirement that she needs to save at least 50 cents for a week. I shall see how she behaves and we will refine the coaching from there.

This sounds exciting to her! As a school girl, with my pocket money, I will buy food during recess, go to the bookshop and when my friends buy stationery, I will want to buy too. However, Mommy will insist that I must save at least half of my pocket money. It’s a struggle for me back then. I need to teach Ethyl on her priorities.

It is inevitable that she will still be like me who will be tempted to buy fanciful stationery. I have been there, I will understand. I am trying my best here to help her making wise decisions; I hope this works for us. Next on my agenda is to get her involved in planning her timetable together with me. She has a responsibility for herself, and she needs to be comfortable with the guideline we both set together.

Humph! Not Fair!!

This came out from Ethyl very frequently of late. All because I have channelled my focus on brayden because of the lately happenings he went through. Briefly explained to missy and hoping she can understand and comprehend with my change in focus, somewhat seems too much for her.

This morning while on the bus, I begun to think of her beahaviour change for the past 2 days (and a little more of last week). She knew little boy been through something that is beyond our expectation, and she seems to accept it. However, she is still vying for attention.

Not to worry, both are still co-existing cordially, however she will fight for attention when we play with Brayden or getting busy around him.

There were days when she cried when I had to go to work. She also cried when I told her to turn in without patting her.

Like yesterday, I showed her the 2 cards I bought, one for Brayden's 1st birthday, 1 for Dr Tang for his care towards our boy. She quickly asked, "No card for me? But why?" Explained to her that her birthday is in November and she will get hers then, she didn't seem to like that explanation, but she also love the card for Brayden. I told her she can draw and write for the brother so that he can remember that he has a jiejie who loves him dearly. She is glad and happy once again!

It's time I put in more effort in giving them fair share of my attention. It's not easy, but I will try...

Hug-and-Cry Session

After whacking my precious girl on Sunday night, she didn't want to come back home on Monday.

I weeped silently on my bed after Bray had slept...it never happened before and never occurred to me the hurt could be so great on her. I love her too much and with her refusing to come back home is quite a blow to me as well.

Hubby consoled me and we turned in early. NExt thing I knew was she calling us around 10pm (we were snoozing already) saying she wants to come back. I slept better after that call.

I really miss her around...

Yesterday, she kept calling me to ask me to fetch her home from Mom's. She said she missed me.

At least I know I am not forgotten. We talked about the incident and I teared. She was too shocked of my reaction and used her little hand to wipe my tears. After a while, she cried too.

We talked it out and we both hugged together and there were too many "I love you" exchanged. I am glad things turn out well and she can explain why she was being punished.

At the same time, I am also glad that I show Ethyl that I care and I bother to explain...no shy in telling her and showing her my emo, I need her to understand where I am coming from as well. Mom said she was very well-behaved yesterday and I am glad to see the change.

Training Mini Boss

Sleeping through the night

Yes, we made an effort to train him because Ethyl slept through at 6 weeks old. This little man wakes up every 1 and a half hour, if we were lucky, 2 and half is the longest he'd sleep.

The decision to train hm 2 weeks ago crossed my mind...

How did I do it? Well, when he starts to whimper and wag his arms in the air, I would carry him to me, hug him to sleep. Somehow he does goes back to slumberland. So, I used the same method for about 3 nights, it worked. Initially he'd wake up twice, and since 4 nights ago, he only woke up ONCE! Quite a milestone for my little chap. Great job!

He is waking up later and later as the day goes. Initially he'd wake up at 2ish to 3, now he wakes up at almost 5am! No complains, as we get to sleep longer and woke up only once to pump, while hubby feeds him.

Potty Business

It never fails to send a grin on my face when I thought of this. He does signal when he needs his business done.

Nowadays, his diapers can last him through the night because he does not poop in it!

In the mornings, he'd wait till Mom comes over and put him on the potty. He'd pee and poo at the same instance. I am so proud of him for being such a clean baby!

Hopefully he can be off diapers faster than Ethyl...that would save us big dollars man!

Estimation Goes Under

I have witnessed how some parents stressed out the kids by giving too much enrichment activities because they feel that the kids should go for so that they won't fall back. I kept reminding myself not to fall under this category...Yes, the reminders work. Till now, I am not a kiasu Mommy who signs up any other courses for my gal.

Now, I am going to sign her up in Act 3. Most likely when I started working. Her swimming sessions are coming up when she turns 4yo. Art sessions as well...and she wants to learn music and dancing too! She is the one who requested to go for the courses, the ideas only sits in my mind.

She proved me wrong when I thought all these are too much for her. When we teach her new things, she grasps the concept very fast. Be it reading, writing, or drawing.

I believe they foundation is built for her. I will introduce those activities to her gradually...had all in plan, just execution needed.

Ethyl has the privilege of our 100 and one percent attention. Hubby jolted me out of my dreams lately...I have never planned anything for Brayden. Yeah, he his so young...what to plan?

I am guilty for not playing my part well to him. He didn't had much pre-natal teachings, even listening to classicals is a hassle to me then. I didn;t really read him stories, I kill 2 birds because I thought reading to Ethyl is as good as reading to him. Makes me feel less guilty this way.

Now, I am gonna pull up my socks. I am going to look for flash cards (again!). Ethyl's cards are everywhere..and her cards are hers! I am gonna teach Bray mathematics when he turns 3 mo and is able to sit with aid.

I believe Bray can do as well. He is able to understand emotions at this stage. When I scold him, he cries. When I praise him, he smiles...He calls (coos) out for you when he felt neglected and ignored. He is just so cute!

If you ask me...most of the coaching at home is done by me. I am just ONE person, how much can I do? I need 48 hrs to accomplish all tasks including sleeping!!! Argh...I miss lazing and nuah-ing on the bed!!