How Is He and My New Headache

Bray's review was pretty positive. Though still coughing, he still turns blue, but of course, it is getting lesser and the phlegm seems to have dissolved quite a bit too...he's appetite is growing, at times he can drink more than 100ml and his feed is like 2 hourly or even hourly. *smiles*

As for my new headache, my little girl, is getting quite cranky whenever she has to go to school. *sigh*

After talking to the teachers and reflecting ourselves, the most possible reason is - she needs more attention.

She loves Bray for sure. We love her as much too...just that Bray is getting more attention now as he is unwell and we'll rush to him whenever he coughs and carries him in our arms. We are worried that he'll gag or choke himself which could endanger his life if we do not take good care.

Now going to school (leaving us) is giving her lotsa insecurity. She might feel that we won't miss her and she kept saying she wanted to stay at home with Mommy and Bray...she wants to stay with us and will miss us.

Seriously, it's time we come up with something to please her. Coming next is her Barney concert, Hubby and I will bring her out without Bray, but she was pretty unwilling to leave her little bro behind. I hope we can spend good time with her and assure her that she is still a darling to us.

Looks like there's a challenge for me ahead...

Stress

Due to Brayden's persistent cough, and people around kept asking about his condition, I felt stressful. Especially when the concern is like reprimanding me for not taking good care of MY OWN SON!

I have told Hubby that I am the one carrying him during pregnancy, I am the one who suffers from the pain of delivering him, why would I not take care of him?

We have seen 3 docs for his cough previously, and yesterday, I decided to sought for medical aid again. He can't continue coughing like that.

Our pead was on leave, so I asked Jan if she knew there was a pead clinic at CCK area which is nearer to me. Helpful her helped me search for info on the clinic, and also the reviews of the doc. Positive reviews; thus I called Hubby and told him we are going to this doc in the evening.

I guess this is an arrangement. He is the only doc thus far who made me feel more relieved to leave Brayden in his healing hands. He was patient, listening to us and our previous diagnosis from different avenues and the lack of information for the ail, leaving all of us helpless looking at the baby suffering.

Brayden coughed twice during the consultation. Dr Winston Ng saw how he coughed and he says for his age, he is coughing quite badly. He changed his prescriptions after that...we were given antibiotics and a follow up appointment for him. At the very least, we were given some meds for the phlegm, antibiotics to help fight the virus, and ventolin to help open up his airways.

Strange for a Mommy to feel better when the newborn was put on antibiotics right? If you were in my shoes, I guess you will feel the same...everything that would help clear the cough after 2 weeks of helpless-ness, you will try.

Sounds of concern is still appreciated, but voices of concerns sounds like "I don't care about my son" or "I do not know how to take care of my son", please go away...

Brayden's Full Moon

This time, we thought we would have an easier time, but we were all WRONG! We were busier and more exhausted than Ethyl's time. Hmm...wonder what went wrong?


Bray's praying to the ancestors started on Saturday. Hubby picked up the "ang yee" from a famous shop in Bukit Merah while Mom and I got the kiddos ready for the day out. With 2 in tow, it is not easy especially when my missy is not in a beautiful mood.


No pictures of Saturday though I do have the camera with me. Too rush, too tired and hungry! If there needs to be a picture, here it is...sleeping babies are so lovely isn't it? *smiles*

Sunday is the day we invite our relatives for the full moon lunch. My morning was madness as Mom wanted me to bake 2 cakes. The Brownie took me quite some time, in the end, I did not have the time to finish the Ganache and white chocolate icing.

Next bake is the marble cake. Well, it was supposed to be...Mom was rushing me and I was fretting as I do not have enough time. In the end, my marble cake turned out to be chocolate cake because I accidentally added cocoa powder to my flour mixture and sieve them together.

No time to re-bake, so I just let it be...turned out the cake tasted quite nice.

Supposed to take a family portrait of ourselves, no time.

Supposed to take pictures with both maternal and paternal side, no time.

Supposed to take the pictures of the food served, no time.

Supposed to take pictures of guests, no time.

Also don't know what we are busying with...

The only few pictures taken yesterday...

my Godma with 三伯母and my nephew
my primary mates...the che twin sisters
my secondary school pals...

Our Brayden Boy

Can guess which is Ethyl, which is Brayden?

He is such a cutie...he is not cranky and fretful. Even when he needs milk, he'd whimper softly and wag his arms to gain our attention. When he waited for too long (when we took too long), he'd give out fierce but short cries as if telling us to hurry up.

He'd be sleeping when he's full. He'd also lie down on his cot and just gaze around when he had enough sleep...I hope he remains this easy.

So far he's been good...

He actually has a don't-meddle-with-me look

Oh my boy...we are out of the "jail" from today...I am so proud to bring both you and jiejie out!

Reflection

Ethyl has been a doting sis to Brayden, I am really glad. However, last night, we witnessed something and was upset...she beat Brayden before bedtime.

I knew she was sleepy and was whining for my attention. Brayden is still unwell and wanted to be nursed, and so, I walked away to attend to Brayden, thinking I will put Both Brayden and Ethyl together so that I can nurse Brayden and at the same time, pat Ethyl to sleep.

Blame me for not conveying my intention to her properly, she actually got so upset and beat Brayden's hand (softly) and looked at him fiercely.

Hubby and I quickly told her she should not have done that and explained to her briefly...I saw the remorse in her eyes, and we stopped reprimanding her for hurting the brother.

After Ethyl dozed off, Hubby and I had a short discussion on this matter. Due to the boy who is still nursing his cough, we have been showing him more attention than before, that could have caused some sort of jealousy in Ethyl.

So far, she has been very loving. This morning, the first thing she woke up, she was looking for Brayden (who was still sleeping), and kissed him, hugged him and sayang him...I love such sight.

Such incident may not be very pleasant, but it is good and makes us reflect on our actions towards the siblings...There are just so many things to take care of with an additional kid.

Ethylyn, 42MO

Really miss her baby days...she is such a dear when she listens to us and is obedient.

After being a big sis, I can see that she is trying hard to be a good sister, loving her bro, and dotes on her bro.

She can really talks so much. From the moment she woke up, she'd talk and talk...

When I was staying in hospital after birth of Brayden, I thought she don't miss me; I was wrong. When I was discharged, she said "Mommy, you know I miss you when you are in hospital? Do you miss me?"

We are trying to get used to having a new addition; everyone is learning...and I should give her a chance to be a great sister to Brayden.

My baby #1 is growing fast...no matter how fast, she is still my baby.

The Love...

Fresh Milk for the Boy Please

This fresh is not that fresh...haha...what am I uttering? Well, seen the pead and he suggested that I feed him fresh ebm (freshly "milked") or best latch him on directly to help him fight off the virus.

Antibodies are actually "killed" when we chill or freeze the ebm. Thus, even when he nurses every hour, I am willing to wake up and direct feed him, so long as it'll help in easing his ails.

Poor boy...I'd rather be the one who is sick...let me bear the pain in his place.

Brayden's First Visit to NUH

Poor boy is having quite bad phelgmy cough. Jiejie is the culprit...When we told her to keep a safety distance from Brayden till she is better, she refused and kept kissing and coughing into Brayden's face.

I know she loves her brother...so at times, we only reminded her.

3 days ago, the first cough came. I brushed it off thinking it's a minor problem until yesterday night, when my brayden boy was breathing heavily after coughing, grasping for air and his lips turned purple, I was freaked out.

Told Hubby I wanted to bring him to pur pead, but so late into the night already...we headed to NUH children's emergency.

Ethyl was with us and she was very worried about her brother.

When the MO used a tube to insert into Brayden's nostrils to check on the nose block, the jiejie was weeping silently at a corner when she saw how her brother struggled and wailed. My heart aches for both.

Ethyl is feeling guilty for causing her brother to go through all these. Today, she only touched his face and kept check to make sure that the brother is fine.

A lesson for her, and she now knows it is no joke when we say she has to cover her mouth whenever she sneezes or coughs. No kissing allowed when sick...all these are deeply etched in her mind. I just hope brayden will recover soon!

Get well, my boy!

Mommy's Rants

Firstly, I did not celebrate Mother's Day. Unable to eat many things, so Hubby and Ethyl only wish me Happy Mother's day and promised to bring me out for my well-deserved meal when Brayden turns 4 mo.

I put on a total of 10.2kg during my pregnancy, last weigh 2 days ago, I lost 7.5kg! Ha! I do not mind losing more!

I was uanble to take tonics for the time being due to my loss of blood. Hubby said my face looks pale, and I get giddy spells pretty frequently. This worries Mom and Hubby. I am trying to take care of myself. The giddiness yesterday was worse, I could not wake up to feed Brayden boy, and had to wake Hubby up and get him to help me with it. Poor him...he still had to work today.

Am planning to bake some cakes and biscuits next week...Oh...I miss eating cakes! And can you believe it? I am craving for durians!

OUCH!

The little red bruise was not so obvious in the pics taken...my little girl actually fell and knocked herself on her left cheek in school while playing with her friends.

OUCH! OUCH! OUCH!

Good thing she said she did not cry. She picked herself up and stopped running with her friends so that she won't fall again. Over the past few weeks, she was left to fend for herself most of the times as we were pretty busy with the little ones (Brayden and my nephew); this somehow forced her to grow up herself.

She knew I couldn't carry her, at most cuddle and hug her. She has been understanding and no, the new baby did not take her position away...she is still very much loved by us.

To Be Fair...

The Ah Yi says I am bias and had very little pictures of our Bray boy...so, I took some pics of him.

In fact it is not easy as he is sleeping most times, and having a tot at home, plus my fat fat nephew, it can be quite a handful for us.


Well, managed to get some pics taken...

Brayden has been drinking about 60 to 80ml of ebm. Ethyl's feed was also increased from 180ml to 200ml. So far, the supply is increasing steadily...thanks to Mommy's nourishing soup.

I am used to waking up in the middle of the night for feeds. Brayden is not as good a breastfeeding baby as compared to Ethyl. He couldn't latch on well as he refused to open his mouth wide enough, thus leaving my nips really sore. Furthermore, when I latch him on, he'll fall asleep after 5 minutes and refused to drink, leaving my boobs engorged, the milk splurting and causing quite a mess.

Still, I try to nurse him at least 3 times a day. If I don't, it defeats the purpose of breastfeeding right? It is the bonding that I enjoy...a pity Ethyl feels awkward to nurse on me again, else I will be doing tandem nursing and I am sure I'll enjoy doing it!

It is so fast this time around...I am moving on to my 3rd week of being a Mom to two. Which also means, Hubby, my pillar of support is going back to work tomorrow. SIGH...with him around, though he manages more on the household chores to help ease Mom of some chores, it is his presences that made me feel secure.

We are now planning for the Brayden's full moon...didn't really like to do all these, but to be fair, what the lil' big sis had, the lil bro should also have; that is what Hubby and I agreed on.

Wondering whether did my lil boy put on some grammes...the last time he put on 100grammes, how about now? It's been a week, and so far, he's feeding well...I do think he has grown longer.

Can't wait for confinement to be over soon! i'm going to do my hair, mani, pedi, eyebrow threading etc! I am a vain Mama...

Keeping It Up

Milk supply has been increasing, in fact if little guy is the "sole beneficiary" of my milk, I would have to dump the milk away.

When little missy came into the picture, it is a whole new story.

She is in love with EBM (expressed breastmilk) once again! As missy is drinking about 300ml of milk for one feed, it is really challenging to keep up the supply for her. So, I told her I will give her 180ml instead. Eversince then, she kept asking for ebm.

Now I am trying to pump more milk for Ethyl as well...tiring, but a fulfilling task.

A Day of Birth

Deciding to deliver Brayden on 28 April 2008 is not a decision made by others. It is made with discussion with hubby before even Dr Lui said I have to deliver by my 38th week.

We woke up early and Mom came to bring Ethyl to her place while Hubby and I prepare ourselves to be admitted to the hospital. Remembering almost 3.5 years ago when I was on my way to deliver Ethyl, I was not as nervous. Probably this time it is elective c-sec, that's why I felt my heart beating fast while waiting for Dr Lui to arrive.

The experience is different this time. I had lotsa time waiting and answering questions. The last c-sec was an emergency, thus I was wheeled into the OT almost immediately after they passed me a form to sign. Everything seems to happen within a minute and the next moment, I was out of the OT.

Dr Lui chatted with me while waiting for the anaesthesia to arrive. Told him I was pretty nervous, he asked me to relax and tried telling me some of his "cold" jokes. The moment the anesthesia arrived, everyone was busy and soon, I was knocked out and "dead" to the world.

"Fannie, the operation is a success!"

This is the next thing I heard when I woke up. Dr Lui said, although it is a success, I lost quite a bit of blood because my anterior was low lying and when doing the cut, one of the blood vessel (as thick as his finger) broke and blood was oozing out. He was busy trying to save me and mend the vessel that he quickly dis-engage Brayden and concentrated on me.

"I did not see the baby's sexing because I was busy saving you. You need no blood transfusion as you have been good and took my iron pills. You will be fine..."

I went...DUH...He didn't tell me if baby is healthy! The first thing he told me the last time was baby is healthy. Why not this time?

I was wheeled out, still worrying about my baby. Hubby saw me, he didn't look as excited as the last time, I murmured weakly asking about the baby and he said "Baby's covered with many white discharge like stuff and very fair".

So? How's the baby? He showed me his first pics that Daddy took. Oh...he looks like Ethyl. That was what came to my mind. When baby was brought to me, "Oh, he looks different from the pics taken! He looks like Daddy!" I thought.

Am glad that baby is doing fine. Really got to thank Dr Lui for helping me through the c-sec. I was very weak from the loss of blood. This time, the wound was more painful than before. Dr Lui explained that he did not finish the cutting because I was bleeding profusely. He cut it halfway and "tore" me up instead of cutting.

No matter what, the most important thing is both of us are fine. Told Hubby that I am not going to have a third baby after this. It's just too much to bear as I can no longer try for virginal birth.

How Are They?

Little girl is as usual, bubbly, chatty and makes quite a bit of noise.

Every night, before bed, we would hug her and kiss her (as usual) when baby is asleep. She knew attention will be on Brayden whenever he is awake, so far, only a slight change in her behaviour, otherwise everything is still pretty normal.

She has grown more independent, which is good in a way (to us). I have also started giving her breast milk this morning. She enjoys it...though she no longer nurse on me, and is afraid she'd hurt me, I agreed to provide breastmilk for her through bottle.

Our little guy is doing fine as well. Been feeding well and sleeping well. He is not at all disturbed by Ethyl's singing, talking and disturbances. I guess he is so used to this voice when he was in me.

Oh...this boy enjoys bathing time!

He nurses well. His limbs were long and thin...I hope to beef him up a little more.

Love Naturally

Deep in thoughts...

"Hello, who's looking for me?"

There were times when I thought I could never find the capacity to love another little one cos all my love and attention was given to Ethyl. So wrong was I! The capacity came naturally, though for my case, it only came on day 3 when Brayden joined us.

This time, I am really glad that Mom is helping me during confinement. Her help is really great! I do not wish to tire her out, thus I helped a bit here and there...she was frowning and nagging at me for not resting. Hmm...thought I only want to help a little to ease her load.

Anyways, Ethyl's behaviour was a little...different these days, probably due to the new baby at home, and our attention to her was divided. However, she loves her little brother so much. I also assure her that we love her as much too! However trying it can be now, I hope it will all iron out in time to come.

Not forgetting that I am breastfeeding now, the numbers chase is back and this time, breastfeeding is much easier as compared. Hope little guy will drink more and grow from a scrawny little one to a healthy little dude.

Oh...now, I am already thinking of bringing my 2 babies out after my confinement!

28 April 2008

A day that makes a new phase of my life, a mother of two.

Hope the siblings can get along well...




He has a beautiful nose...



It's really a challenge to handle two. Am still adjusting to the changes and lots of getting used to do. The amazing duty of breastfeeding my newborn is really something I enjoy doing as a Mom. This bonding, dads will never ever experience and understand, although I agree that this could be very tiring.

Will update more when I have the time! Thank you friends for sending me wishes, visiting us and leaving comments. We are both well...