Dead Tired

My eyelids are heavy...rushing up and down from office/home to our new place to monitor the progress of the renovation is not easy.

Basically it is a job that I had to do, else things will be stagnant as Hubby is quite passive for most things. I am the one arranging for the various people to meet, sourcing and calling for quotes for my roller shutter as the one my contractor helped to source was too expensive.

I had fixed the aircon installation. Tiling should start next week, and carpentary confirmation shall also be next week...so busy ahead of me. I am struggling. I hate to compromise on the kids' time; however I didn't have much of a choice here.

I wish I had a big cosy bed in front of me, lie down and let me sleep for 12 straight hours...

This is only the first week, I still have about 5 more weeks to go...

Brayden's 1yo Birthday

Happy Birthday Son! Wishing you health, happiness and lotsa blessings!

We celebrated his birthday last Sunday all thanks to Rachele for insisting I celebrate his birthday! We had a great day! And thank you for your help too! ;) Owe you a treat!!!

The birthday boy was a little cranky that day, not much pictures too...promise to update when I have more time ok?

Overheard

Little conversations of Ethylyn overheard...

Ethylyn: I am so disappointed with my friends...
and she was heard saying this by my BIL yesterday during the party when her cousins all ran down to play despite her telling them not to.

Hubby made her upset and she said, "I am so angry with you...you made me angry already!"
Hubby laughed it off and she said, "It's not funny ok!" Hubby continued to laugh and she will repeat, "I told you it's not funny, stop laughing!"

"Mommy, my friend do not know what is 装修. I told her it's renovation and she doesn't know. She asked me what is it and I just tell her is to make the house messy and it will become nice after that. aiyah...so simple also don't know. How to explain?"

"Mommy, my Teacher calls me Pasir Ris Ethylyn now, so funny."
I asked her why and she replied, "because I told them I am shifting to Pasir Ris and teacher call me Pasir Ris Ethylyn lor...you want to tell tacher to stop calling me this name?"

"Didi, are you happy today? Jiejie is happy because it's your birthday. I am so proud of you because you turn 1yo already...so fast! So you happy? I think you are because you get presents you know? I also get...so happy!"

The little boy can't answer her of course :) I am glad she is happy for the didi rather than feeling envious o him getting gifts instead of her. Indeed she has grown up!

A Pleasant Surprise…

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I was quite upset yesterday when I asked if we are going anywhere, as I am arranging to meet our contractor to discuss on the renovation. He says “no plans yet” and asked if I wanted to go Jurong Point, I was totally pissed off and just kept quiet.

Today, he took leave and send me to work. I refused to have breakfast with him, and he walked off and sent me an SMS wishing me.

I left work earlier…he says he’ll pick me up, so I waited for him and the kiddos, not knowing what he has planned or not planned.

This is a “hidden agenda”, a secret between the father and daughter. The went ahead and customised me the one and only cake for me!!!! Love Ethyl and Hubby’s effort! Really appreciate!

Isn’t this cake so perfect?! And so i the sweetie pie posing next to it!

Hubby picked me up and told me we are going to Singapore Flyer. Quite unexpected actually. I actually has a little phobia of heights, but going there has always been on my to-do list for the kids!

Ethyl was excited, so we head to the Flyer and had a quick dinner at one of the fast food joint called “Popeye and chicken” or something along that line.

See the unglam look of his! hehe…he’ll ask me to remove this picture if he were to see this!

Ethyl’s virgin ride…though she is excited about this observant wheel, she also has phobia of heights (like me!). That is why she sits there stationary most of the time, whereas little boy was so busy crawling here and there in the capsule! We had fun though. The ride seemed too short for us!

A shot of us! At the highest point, Hubby sheepishly handed me a Sok Kee box and said, “For you…Happy Birthday!”. I was overwhelmed actually. I only wanted a dinner and some family moments, not expecting a gift from him especially we have to spend so much on our new house.

The Brilliant Rose…an addition to the bling collection in my jewellery box!

Looks rather small here…

I actually prefers a Gucci bag then this! But the thought counts! I love this too! Thanks Dear!

Finally, we cut the cake back at home. Hubby planned to cut it in the Flyer, but no food allowed. Too bad!

It's my Birthday...

next tuesday. Hubby didn't really say anything about next tuesday. I also didn't apply leave as I had planned to.

Been taking a few days urgent leave for son, so I do not think it's appropriate plus I am taking leave for son's 1yo birthday.

I digressed, back to the birthday topic. I really hopr to catch Joey Yong's concert tomorrow actually. He says if I want, he buy the tickets cos he has no idea what to get me for my birthday. sigh...

Other then this, he didn't say much.

Probably he didn't know I am not applying leave too? Anyways, I will not be hopeful, I will just take time off and go home earlier on that day.

Some Pictures of Our New Place Before Renovation

Finally got our keys after sooooo many months!

Let me share the "before" pictures.

Kitchen


common bathroom on level 1


Level 2 toilets


Balcony


Living & Dining


Study & Level 2 false ceiling


Common bedrooms


misc


Realised I forgot to add in the MBR! Blur me...

Ethyl is very excited about the new place. Hubby and I finalised the renovation details and the tiles selections too!

Kids' toilet:


MBR Toilet:


Common toilet at Level 1


Strips for foyer on the pebble washed flooring at entrance (foyer)


Living room homogeneous tiles


A symbolic start of renovation is on 25 April, and work shall commence on 27 april!!! So exciting!!

Yippee!!

Well, I can update this post because I am already in a holiday mood!!!

We will collect our keys to the new abode in another FOUR days! How exciting! Even though this is our second house, we are still like the school kids, busied ourselves with the search for furnishings etc. Indeed a tiring chore, we spent our weekends doing all the shopping and even little girl complained about us lacking in bringing her out for activities like swimming and cycling!

I am sorry baby, we shall resume after we settle in our new house ya?!

Hubby and I are doing different things. He basically is still very much in his lala-land, I am in the midst of finalizing my design concept for the house!

I let him made decisions for some of the lightings for the house…in the end he asked me for my opinions. So, I have decided, I will choose and just buy what I like! It saves me the hassle.

We are bent to train the kids to sleep in their shared room this time. We really are tired and seriously lack of rest because the kids bunk with us on the same bed (I suffer more because I am the one in between the kids and my Ethyl can really kick and punch, while Brayden uses his head to knock me!!)! I am already trying to visualize sleeping on our King sized bed and dreaming on it…

This weekend we will have many shopping to do. This time we will be poorer by at least a few thousand bucks in a day! Economy not good, but why are things still so expensive?!

Humph! Not Fair!!

This came out from Ethyl very frequently of late. All because I have channelled my focus on brayden because of the lately happenings he went through. Briefly explained to missy and hoping she can understand and comprehend with my change in focus, somewhat seems too much for her.

This morning while on the bus, I begun to think of her beahaviour change for the past 2 days (and a little more of last week). She knew little boy been through something that is beyond our expectation, and she seems to accept it. However, she is still vying for attention.

Not to worry, both are still co-existing cordially, however she will fight for attention when we play with Brayden or getting busy around him.

There were days when she cried when I had to go to work. She also cried when I told her to turn in without patting her.

Like yesterday, I showed her the 2 cards I bought, one for Brayden's 1st birthday, 1 for Dr Tang for his care towards our boy. She quickly asked, "No card for me? But why?" Explained to her that her birthday is in November and she will get hers then, she didn't seem to like that explanation, but she also love the card for Brayden. I told her she can draw and write for the brother so that he can remember that he has a jiejie who loves him dearly. She is glad and happy once again!

It's time I put in more effort in giving them fair share of my attention. It's not easy, but I will try...

Lately, the posts were all about little boy. My sweetie also had some updates that I have been holding back for a while.

When it comes to studies, she never really need me to worry much about her, at least to this stage. She has been very enthusiastic when it comes to learning.

Her are some of her latest "work".

She does have mistakes in the earlier 听写，but she has mastered the words that she made mistakes. Initially when she started learning a word that is more complicated with more strokes, she'll come telling me, "Mommy, I don't know how to write (that particular word), it's so difficult."

I will always assure her that I can teach her and told her that she has to be confident about being able to master the word(s) under our guidance. After a few repetitions, she is confident and can master the writings well.

She is learning to write more and reading chinese books that has more words. Her readers I bought from the school are very useful I would say. She is enjoying her every learning moments...

Post 1st Op and Post 2nd Op

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The little boy has went through something that I never thought would happen.

Let us take a look at the picture of the wound after the first op.

This is not really threatening.Quite an acceptable “look” of the scar to me.

 

He is still very cheerful as usual. In order to comfort my little sunshine during our hospital stay, I bought him an eyore to keep him company. It has since became his best “friend”.

During the 2nd op, this is the additional “dirty stuff” that was removed from his head. I actually looked at these and asked them why are they creating a havoc in my boy’s head and caused his sufferings! I had threw these away the very next day.

Little boy has the love of jiejie Ethyl. They sure love each other!

See how they are posing for my camera.

The new scar is longer and looks more threatening. We applied ointment on the wound as instructed, thus it appears less “scary” in the picture. I am fearful to look at this scar actually. I just reminds me of what we had went through.

Now, I just hope this is the ending of the whole ordeal.

How I Felt

It is not easy for me to sit down here and write this post actually. I am trying my very best to control my emotions. I was still traumatised by this whole event that my little boy had to go through. This is NO JOKE!

When Dr Tang volunteered to call Hubby for the first time when the wound opened up, it didn;t occur to the man that he should come and stay by my side. Though there is nothing he can do to make me feel good, at least his presence is there and I will feel more comforted.

The wound itself was hollow as the lump was "giant cells" (as described in the histology) but non-cancerous. The lump was too huge and thus after removing, the tissues were too far apart for Dr to stitche back, so we were hoping that the inside of the wound would heal up nicely by iteslf.

I saw how deep and raw the "hole" was. Letting a 11 month old to bear which such pain is really too much! I wish I were the one who suffers from all these on his behalf!

Hubby's words over the phone didn't help. After Dr tang spoke to him, he asked me the SAME things all over again. How am I to tell him what had just happened to our son all over again?!

Dr Tang kept asking if I was alright. How can I be?! Even when I told them I am fine, I am NOT! They all said I am very brave and strong to be so calm under such a circumstance. How can I not be? Should I be crying together with my baby? Should I also be screaming with him because we are both in pain?

I had to stay poised in order to calm my baby. The support from my colleagues were great! I really appreciate them accompanying me through the toughest waiting time.

I just hope the wound really heals well and does not cause any more suffering for my little one. It is so painful for us!

This boy is tough! Though he screams, he is over the pain very fast...I really hope he will grow up brave and tough.

Dr Tang just called me to check on the little one. He is really nice. He didn't charge us at all for the procedure he performed on son yesterday. It was not his fault. I consulted one of my other Dr and she mentioned such things are not common and even my boss, who saw Dr Tang said he is a really nice Dr unlike some money grabbing ones we saw in private practice.

I am thankful to have such a caring Dr for son.

After this, I really have to give little one a small celebration and bring him out to buy a nice set of clothes for his coming birthday!

Triple Heartache!

Even till now, when I am alone, the scenes of what has happened yesterday would be flashing back in my mind. The cries, screams, the different types of pain we both went through is too traumatising for me, and all the more for him.

Brayden was supposed to remove his sutures yesterday and since Hubby was unable to take leave, I thought since it’s something so minor, I took leave and brought Brayden their alone.

The nurses were happy to see us. A cheerful baby and he seemed to be getting all the attention from the aunties there.

One of the nurses helped us to the treatment room and applied numbing cream for him. Not too long later, I realised there were liquid that looks like blood that flows out of his wound. I quickly alerted the nurse and she cleaned up the wound for son.

She told me that this is discharge. There could have been some pus in there and when she pressed against it, the pus just flow out.

Not too long later, Dr Tang came out and met us in the treatment room to remove son’s sutures. I am proud of my son. He knew when to sop moving and cooperate with Dr Tang when he is trying to remove the sutures and sat quietly on my lap.

After the sutures were removed, the discharge flew out again. Gently, Dr Tang pressed against the wound and allowed the liquid to flow out while explaining to me. I was listening to Dr Tang and didn’t notice the wound until little one let out a sharp shriek! Gosh…the wound opened up!

My mind was in a whirl. I saw how badly he was struggling and all of us didn’t anticipate that such a thing would happen.

Dr Tang and the nurses held onto son while I was still carrying him. This time he was really struggling and screaming. I couldn’t help but just sat there, trying to calm my baby and at the same time, trying to put on a brave front.

Dr used the chemical to clean his exposed wound. OUCH!!!! I was traumatised to see the wound and this is the very first time I saw him screaming so badly. Dr tried to use secondary healing method on him so that we need not stitch back the wound and need not sedate him. The whole process was too painful to bear! Dr stuffed the gauze into his wound and son was struggling and shrieking at the top of his lungs. Dr stopped and said this is going to be too painful for him. He said it is better to sedate him, and stitch up his wound again. This time, it will be a day surgery.

Dr Tang was unable to get a slot for the OT at Mount E, and suggested we go back to Mount A to do this. I was equally traumatised and didn’t want to travel all the way to Mount A, told him to do it at my company’s day surgery centre. He quickly made the arrangements and I quickly called the people I know in the centre and settled in a slot.
We had to wait till 3.30pm for the surgery because son had his milk before removing the sutures. So I brought him back to office and chat with my colleagues. They played with him and he enjoyed being there.

When time was almost up, I brought him to the day surgery centre and he seemed to know what was happening and he begun to cry uncontrollably in the centre. The nurses there gave him toys and tried to coax him but to no avail.

Finally the Drs arrived and quickly we settled in. I changed to the gown and followed them into the OT. I didn’t stay though Dr Tang says it is alright for him if I want to witness the process. I rejected because I knew I would be too traumatised to see what is going to happen inside the theatre.

My colleagues there were nice. Though it is a short procedure, they updated me very frequently and my boss came and accompanied me too. I was still trying to hold back my tears.

A procedure that was less than 30 minutes, I get updates from them more than 5 times. I really appreciate their concern.

I was back in OT after the stitching was done. He was still sedated and I saw the newly stitched wound that no longer needs to be removed as they used a better quality absorbable stitch that plastic surgeons like to use.

I quickly made his milk when one of the SSN came telling me that they were almost done. I knew he would be so hungry after fasting for 4 hours and spent about 30 minutes in the procedure.

Dr Tang kept asking me if I was ok and called Hubby in the OT after the procedure was done. He even kissed Brayden before leaving. He is really a nice Dr.

They arranged for me a private recovery room. I did not understand why son was still crying so badly and asked if it’s because the wound hurts. Tried giving him calpol to relieve the pain, but he simply wouldn’t cooperate with me.

During the wrestle, the meds was spilled on the gown that I was wearing. I quickly removed it and guess what, Brayden stopped crying and was resting on me and fell asleep! Now I know why he cried even when the nurses were out of our sight!

Hubby came just minutes before we can leave. We quickly settled whatever is needed and went back home.

When Brayden woke up in the car, he was smiling at me. He even made funny faces and made me laugh. However, I couldn’t laugh. I cried instead. I hugged him close to me and kissed him hard. I was feeling so lousy as I could do nothing to ease him from all these sufferings.

Ethyl heard me telling them about what we went through, came to me and said, "Mommy, come and touch my heart...can you feel? My heart dropped! Poor didi..."

Sigh...I hope the whole saga is over and this traumatising experience will end here.

I guess I was as badly affected. I would be crying whenever I think about what I saw yesterday. I was crying on the bus to work this morning, was crying when I was sitting in the office alone...cried again when I was trying to put this post up and cried again whenever I am alone.

Brayden did sleep well, though he was also crying in between his sleep and we all know that he was very affected.

Son, we love you! All will be over soon! Speedy recovery!

Should There Be a Party?

Brayden's turning 1yo in a mere 3 weeks. I wanted to go hoildays, but the last minute infection made use cancel this plan.

I looked at the possibilities and selected Globetrotters, only to realised that it had ceased operation. SIGH...I wanted a party because my porr little one had been through quite a fair bit in his 1st year, from born till now. I just want him to be happy.

There are many other places out there...but I am left with very little time to really do planning. What shall I do now?!